The Killing Jar
by river basin
Summary: Nabi has enough on her plate, without worrying about characters tragic backstories. As a matter of fact, she's more than fine with letting it all play out. But people have a bad habit of worming themselves into her heart anyway. [SI/OC]
1. Tell me what you think

**Author note at the end.**

 **Part one:** awakening

" _There is nothing worse, than knowing how it ends."_

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Nine times out out of ten, Nabi was a normal child. She had a hard time reading books that didn't have a lot of pictures. She liked to runny outside rather than stay cooped up inside all day. She played games with the other children. She wasn't particularly bright, not anymore than the others at the orphanage.

But Nabi was not a normal child. Because if one happened to watch her, to see her, to _pay attention_ to her—

Well.

That person would realize that there was something very, _very_ , off about the young girl.

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Nabi was five when she told the caretakers at the orphanage that she wanted to be a kunoichi, ( _just like Tsunade-sama!),_ and they giggled with each other like it was a secret to be cherished between friends.

The women hid the shivers and the hair that stood on end when around the young girl.

Because the oldest caretakers knew another child, similar to her, that had turned dark and vile with a soul that was so very rotten.

 _(don't be alone with the girl, or your hair will fall out!)_ They whispered to one another, behind wrinkled hands and twisted lips.

 **.**

 **.**

A dream.

A forest, with gnarled roots that grew above the ground, with trees that sprouted into the air and branches that swayed from a ghostly brush of wind. Fog curled itself around everything in its vicinity, becoming a cold blanket that offered no warmth, no matter if it was summer or winter—rain or shine.

This forest was a dead forest, Nabi decided.

A dead land decorated with corpses that hung from branches—a rotten and desolate graveyard that burned her nose hairs and made her eyes water.

It was hard to breathe—her chest ached with something great, and it stung with every molecule of air she inhaled. She swallowed her own spit and the noise echoed in her head, banging against her skull like an unruly child before settling down a moment later.

Leaves crunched in a steady rhythm from someone walking over them and they came closer to Nabi until she couldn't hear her heart pounding against her ribcage. Something flicked across the back of her neck and it tickled the green hair that was cut short. Cold, raspy air fanned against her neck and her heart was beating so hard, it was bruising her.

Shadows danced across her closed eyelids—a tease, a taunt, that she would not answer. Because if she answered—

There would be no going back.

And Nabi was still very much happy with deluding herself of what was to come. She still believed that there was a chance.

She was still naive.

 **.**

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April is a month for new beginnings. It's when the cherry blossoms begin to bloom and it is the perfect time to start anew.

Which is why, in Japan, the school year starts in April. And since Konoha has such a strong Japanese influence, the academy also starts in April.

Nabi eyes the other orphaned children who were being kept in a line by one of the younger caretakers, a girl named Mimi who was a favorite among the younger children. Nabi would have thought the children would be rambunctious and Mimi would be pulling out her hair to stay in control of so many young children. Nabi was taken out of her thoughts when one of the children commented on the state her hair was in.

A few cherry blossom petals had gotten stuck in Nabi's hair and she was focused on getting them out. The light pink contrasted terribly against her green hair. Nabi was about to leave it be and just accept her fate for the day until a blonde child with barrettes to keep her bangs out of her eyes was in front of her and offering to help.

"If you do it that way, you'll end up getting your fingers tangled in too," the girl teased lightly. Nabi stared, taking in her rather strange features. She had no pupils, for one.

The girl had managed to get the petals out without any further pain to Nabi's scalp and they both watched them float away with the breeze. There might've been something poetic about the scene, and Nabi might have commented on it, if she had cared.

"I'm Yama-"

"I don't care." Whatever the girl wanted to say, Nabi didn't let her. So Nabi turned away, and walked back to the other orphan children.

Perhaps there was something poetic about that too, but Nabi had never liked poetry.

 **.**

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Ninja school was fucking hard.

When the instructors weren't making Nabi feel like a piece of shit, because she wasn't getting something right the first or seventh time, Nabi decided that wanting to become a ninja wasn't for the faint of heart.

Why?

Because ninja school was trying to kill her. Or the Universe was—but the specifics don't matter, it's just that Nabi feared for her life a lot more often then when she was just a naive little orphan girl who made rice balls with the caretakers.

Do you need an example? Nabi had five.

The first week, she almost got her neck slit by some upper classmen and their wayward shuriken. During a lunch break, a child almost dropped a bucket filled with god knows what on Nabi's head. In the kunoichi classes, her absent minded teacher forgot to tell her that petals of a certain flower was extremely poisonous. A Inuzuka senpai's dog tried (and failed, thank you god) to bite her head off. And then, to top it all off, one of the instructors put too much force behind a new move he was teaching them and had knocked the air (and quite possibly Nabi's will to live) out of her.

The point is, the Universe is trying to kill Nabi, she is sure of it. Which brought her to the current conversation she was having with one of the younger caretakers.

"I'm telling you, the Universe is out to get me," she whispered conspiratorially, like it was a particularly juicy piece of gossip.

"Is it now?" Mimi asked in a tone that very much meant she was only humoring Nabi. Nabi rolled her eyes at the tone but otherwise waved her arms up and down to try and emphasize her point. In the end, it only made Nabi more childlike in Mimi's eyes. The sudden revelation loosened the stiffness in Mimi's shoulders and her smile became more lighthearted.

Whatever the older caretakers thought, surely they were wrong about Nabi. So Nabi was a little more eccentric compared to the other children, that was fine.

"You don't believe me." Nabi's brow pulled into an adorable little pout and it was only emphasized by her crossed arms over her chest. Mimi laughed and squished Nabi's cheeks between her hands. "I'm not a baby!" Nabi pushed Mimi's hands away with a glare.

"You're right—you're five years older than a baby—much more mature." Mimi said with an endearing smile.

 **.**

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There was something to be said about Naruto Uzumaki.

Nabi watched through a window as Naruto carried a box of things he had gotten during his time in the orphanage. There wasn't much of it. A few spare clothes, a frog wallet that never had any money in it, and his school books that had probably never been opened.

Naruto had never looked more small than when he walked away from the orphanage, in a shirt too big and no one by his side.

There was something to be said about Naruto—destined child of prophecy—yet Nabi didn't know what those words were.

Today was moving day for Naruto Uzumaki. Today the caretakers would have a celebration—in private, of course—because the demon had finally moved out since joining the academy. The other children would follow the example set by the caretakers and would more than likely be more lively since Naruto was gone.

Something turned inside Nabi's chest and she rubbed at it forcefully—maybe if she rubbed hard enough, she'd go straight through the skin and muscles and bone and stop her heart from feeling anything. At least then that was something for her to cry about.

She had already made up her mind regarding the things that have happened, and the future to be.

Nabi wasn't a hero.

It was as simple as that.

 **.**

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Nabi didn't care much for the kunoichi classes. She didn't like Ikebana or Hanakotoba or _whatever_ it was called. She had enough trouble trying to remember which hand signs went to which jutsu- she didn't have the time or patience to remember what Peonies meant or if the roots of Forget-me-nots were poisonous.

Nabi was not subtle with her anger when she stuffed what she was only partially sure of as Kuroyuri into a vase. They could mean something like lust or gratefulness- the point is she wasn't putting any effort into the assignment and, going off the stink eye the instructor was giving Nabi, she also knew Nabi had no intentions of treating this seriously.

"—Billboard brow!"

Nabi looked over her shoulder to the field of cosmos behind her where a small group of girls were having a stand off. Well, more like it was Ino and Sakura versus the typical girl bullies.

"Oh, I seemed to have mistaken that opening you call a mouth for a vase. Careful—the roots are poisonous." Ino said nonchalantly. The confrontation was over faster than it began with Ino being the victor since Ame and her tag-a-longs had retreated. Throwing the flowers and having them hit their target was a good example of Ino's capabilities and her knowledge of botanical plants with her shurikenjutsu skills—no doubt it was from her training as the Yamanaka heiress.

"A flower is meaningless unless it blooms, right?" Nabi overhead Ino say to Sakura. With the moment over, Nabi turned her attention back to the flowers and stuffed something that might've have been a cactus flower (or just something pointy) into the vase.

If Nabi was correct, the two girls relationship would crumble soon. Sakura finding out that Ino also liked Sasuke would be the final straw on the camel's back so to say. Nabi felt a surge of something hot and painful in her chest at the thought of the two girls breaking their relationship off for something as small as that—Nabi knew that there was a lot more to the girls friendship and it was far more complex than she was giving it credit—but Nabi had already turned away with her mind made up and clenched her teeth until it made her jaw hurt.

She was just an outsider looking in, after all.

 **.**

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 **AN: So I wrote this fic during a time when I was a lot more depressed then I would've liked. Point is, I can't really write something that that requires me to be sad. So I guess it's up to you, the reader.**

 **Either I continue this fic, but it's edited and changed drastically (this is the first chapter of the rewrite) …or the fic becomes abandoned and I'll delete it. What would you, as the reader, wish to see?**


	2. Chapter 2: Libraries and Cold Days

**Knock knock….**

 **Part two:** Libraries and Cold Days

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 _I'm not a hero,_ she told herself as she walked by the alleyway the boys were clustered in, _it'll all turn out okay._

A little blond boy had his back to the alleyway wall, and he glared through a black eye at the three boys who stood in front of him with mocking eyes and condescending smiles.

 _They're young, this is just what boys do._ Nabi sunk her chin deeper into her old hand-me-down grey scarf and huffed to herself, "He'll be alright." It was getting colder, and she could have seen her breath puff out in front of her, if not for the scarf hiding her mouth.

She turned away from the alleyway and continued on her way to the civilian library, and she very carefully didn't flinch when she heard the sound of flesh meeting flesh and a three-on-one fight break out.

It was getting closer to snowing in the land of Fire, and everyday it felt like the snow was slowly creeping up on them.

Her toes and fingers were red from the cold, and Nabi didn't understand why anyone thought it was a _good_ idea for the only shoe option to be sandals during _winter._ But whatever, it's fine, she'll just freeze to death. She shoved her hands into her hoodie's pockets and shuffled her tiny legs faster in the direction of the library that was now only a few blocks away from her. She passed the Academy and consequently the Hokage Tower that attached to the academy.

She didn't get _why_ the second Hokage thought it was such a grand idea to attach the tower to the Academy that housed—more often than not—rambunctious and _loud_ children next to his office. From what Nabi could remember her history class saying, it had something to do with when civilians were finally allowed to enter the academy and train together with the clan children and _maybe_ something about how clans and ninja in general are all paranoid and so the second Hokage agreed to watch over their training to make sure nothing inappropriate was happening.

Nabi huffed and pushed open the library door with both hands since it was _heavy_ and a six-year-old could only be so strong. She showed her library card to the old librarian woman who sat by the front desk, and when the woman gave her a jerky nod, she continued on her way past the desk and into the picture book section of the library.

Since she was inside now, Nabi pulled her grey scarf off and shoved as much of it as she could into her hoodie's front pocket, some of it still dragging on the floor near her feet as she walked into an aisle—careful of the scarf dragging near her feet. She ran the pads of her fingers along the hard spines of the books and pulled a couple out that interested her. Once she had a good seven to ten books of varying weight in her hands, she marched herself over to a desk and dropped the books on top of it before pulling out a chair for herself.

She pulled the top book from the pile over to her and glanced back at the librarian at the front desk. She looked busy, so Nabi turned back to her book and pulled her knees up to her chin before resting her shins against the table and placing the open book against her knees.

She slowly flipped through pages full of pictures of the deserts of Suna. She traced her small pointer fingers over dunes of sand, trying to imagine the coarse feeling of the grains against her fingers and the hot desert sun above her. Nabi rubbed at her neck absentmindedly, thinking about her throat begging for water and her lips chapped to the point that it was painful. She rubbed her lips together, almost feeling the dry, cracked skin on her bottom lip catch on the small bits of skin from her top lip.

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A few hours later, Nabi found herself on the floor underneath the table using her elbows to prop herself up. The librarian looked at her weirdly, like sitting under a table to look at picture books wasn't a normal thing to do.

"Honey? You know the floor is dirty right?" the librarian asked after a moment of awkward eye contact.

"Yes." Nabi answered, staring blankly at the older woman.

"Right." She frowned at Nabi a little weirdly and motioned with her hand for Nabi to crawl out, "Come out, the library is closing early today." Nabi stared at the woman for a moment before pushing the pile of books out first and then crawling out herself shortly after. She made to put them back but the librarian shook her head.

"Ah, I'll take care of that, so you just run on back home now, okay?" she said.

"Okay, uh, goodnight then," Nabi said, because while she was an orphan, the caretakers made sure the children had decent, passable manners. The woman shooed her off with a pursed smile. Nabi bowed her head at the woman slightly and made her way to the front door, pulling her old scarf back out and wrapping it around her neck.

"What a weird child," Nabi turned to look over her shoulder to see the woman mutter to herself as she picked up the books and disappeared down an aisle to put them back in their rightful place. She turned back and walked out of the library with the lower half of her face kept warm from the chilly air by her scarf.

She had only gotten a couple blocks from the library when she had been knocked into someone's legs by a girl with dark hair and pale eyes about her size being dragged by a similar-looking teenager who was quietly scolding her. Nabi blinked when she realized it was Hinata, a girl from her class.

"Oh?" came a pleasant sounding voice from above her. Nabi quickly backed away from the person and looked up. It was a man who looked to be in his late twenties at the most. He had blond hair parted neatly to the right, glasses and bright blue eyes that made Nabi feel like the man was staring straight into her soul. She quickly bowed to him and uttered an apology before she walked away from him.

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Later that night, with the covers tucked under Nabi's chin, she stared blankly at the grey wall of the orphanage and rubbed at her chest as the sounds of the three-on-one fight came back to her and she remembered Hinata's sad face as the older clan member dragged her through the streets.

 _It's not my problem,_ she thought to herself.

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 **Guess who's back from the dead bitches...**


	3. Chapter 3: Hand Signs are Hard

**Did I** _ **finally**_ **update? Yes i did**

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Hand signs would be the end of Nabi. They were just so goddamn difficult. How did people expect her to be able to do the finger equivalent of the splits? Sure, she had three down pat (four on a good day), but the rest? Nada.

If she couldn't get hand signs down before graduation, she was screwed. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Only being able to confidently sign _dog_ , _serpent_ , and _rat_ was a serious blow to her confidence. She'd been trying to look for a book on tips about how to speed up your hand signs or mnemonics for remembering all the hand signs in the public library for the past couple months, but nothing showed up on her radar.

Of course, if you couldn't find a book on it then the logical next course of action would be to, gee, maybe ask the guy _teaching_ her? But Nabi didn't want to talk to Iruka any more than necessary. And necessary to her constituted as answering any question he directed her way in class and that was it.

"Remember that physical checkup forms are due by next week! If it's not in by next week, then you will be unable to participate in taijutsu spars and your overall grade _will_ drop!" Iruka yelled to the class before giving them a clear dismissal from the school day.

Compared to her classmates, Nabi packed up her hand-me-down school books slowly, partly because she was in no real rush and partly because she was only half paying attention to Iruka. If she couldn't find anything in the public library on hand signs—which was looking like a grim possibility—she would have to look through privately owned bookshops which would mean money which then meant that she would have to ask Sachiko for money.

Just thinking about possibly having to ask the old hag for money made Nabi want to die on the inside (again).

Nabi tossed her school bag over her shoulder, settled it against her hip, and walked out of the Academy. She pursed her lips when she saw Naruto on the swing by himself, his head down, blond bangs hiding his eyes from her sight. He had gotten a particularly nasty lecture from another teacher before Iruka had been able to step in, but by then the damage had already been done.

Nabi chewed on the inside of her bottom lip and looked away from Naruto. Not my problem...

She had to drop her school bag off at the orphanage and grab her public library card before she left again. Nabi was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't notice the pair of adult legs she had bumped into until it was too late. She backed up to apologize however, the older dark-haired man didn't seem to notice her—his attention on something else across the street. She followed his line of sight until she found what he was looking at.

Across the dirt street were two Uchiha military police officers who seemed to have gotten into the middle of a quarrel between a couple of drunk men. Nabi frowned in distaste. It was barely three in the afternoon and they were already drinking?

The taller Uchiha man shoved one drunk man onto the ground and the shorter Uchiha grabbed the other drunk man and pulled his arms behind his back hard enough to make him yelp. Nabi couldn't hear what they were saying from across the street but she could clearly hear what the adults said above her.

"Why are they so violent?"

"It's just a stupid drunken brawl, they didn't need to react that way."

"What is wrong with them? Those men are just civilians!" The adults around her didn't seem to have a problem with letting their criticisms be heard and the Uchiha men scowled harder at the words of the civilians around them.

She looked away from the scene, as another police officer had joined in—probably to calm things down—and she walked away from the scene to go home. Her thoughts about the library had been long forgotten.

 **.**

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"I don't want to work with her, she's creepy!" Aiko yelled and stomped her foot to emphasize her point.

Mimi rubbed her temples and sighed from her squatted position in front of Aiko. "Come now Aiko, everyone needs to do their share of work and you're hurting Nabi's feelings by calling her that." Mimi tried to hand the broom back to Aiko but Aiko shook her head stubbornly.

"She's really not," Nabi said. Aiko screeched and Mimi glared at Nabi for her unnecessary comment. Nabi shrugged a shoulder in response.

"See?! She's creepy and she acts like she's better than everyone else!" Aiko smacked away the broom Mimi was trying to offer her and stuck her tongue out at Nabi who raised an unimpressed brow.

"It's really not a good idea to try and force Aiko to work with Nabi, Mimi," Sachiko, cutting into the conversation.

Sachiko was a woman with long grey hair that she kept in a braid and was one of the caretakers who had worked at the orphanage the longest. In contrast, Mimi had short, chin-length brown hair and had only worked at the orphanage for two years.

"But I—" Mimi started, but Sachiko held her hand up and Mimi clicked her mouth shut. Sachiko smiled gently at Mimi and beckoned Aiko over with her hand. Aiko happily skipped away from Mimi and once safely behind Sachiko's legs, stuck her tongue out at Nabi again. Mimi bristled at the blatant behavior but before she could say anything Sachiko had hustled Aiko out of the hallway.

Now it was only Sachiko, Mimi and Nabi in the hallway.

"Besides, Nabi's used to working alone," she said and turned to smile at Nabi. "You don't mind working alone do you Nabi?"

Something passed between Sachiko and Nabi but it happened too quick for Mimi to notice.

Nabi shook her head.

"See? There's your answer, Mimi." Sachiko said and left the hallway.

Mimi dropped her forehead to her knees and sighed deeply. Beside her, Nabi picked up the broom Aiko had smacked away and began dutifully sweeping.

"I am a good caretaker, I am a good caretaker, I am a good—" Nabi could overhear Mimi talking to herself. Mimi sat there for another minute, muttering to herself before she suddenly jumped up, startling Nabi who was in the process of sweeping dust into the dustpan.

Mimi grinned brightly at the smaller girl. "Guess it's just you and me again, Nabi." She gently took the dustpan from Nabi's hands so she could focus on sweeping.

"Sorry about Aiko—I'm sure she'll come around soon, and then you two will be great friends!" Mimi said, her cheerful personality back in full force.

"Doubt it." Nabi didn't look up at Mimi who was staring at her. "I don't want to be friends with a child." She grimaced at the mere thought.

Mimi frowned thoughtfully. "But Nabi, you're a child."

Nabi jerked at the statement and opened her mouth to rudely retort before her expression fell flat and she instead gripped the broom tighter.

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 **I promise i have an excuse for why i haven't updated in like forever...**

 **Fortnite has taken over my life.**

 **Yea that's it.**


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